Growing up in my family was a nightmare. I was the last in everything.

The last niece to be born, the last to reach every milestone, the last to get braces, the last to learn to drive even now I am the last, the last to be in a serious relationship, the last to get engaged the last to move out their parents’ house…. Not that I am in any rush for the last three… the last to leave our home town, the last to get a passport, the last to learn to drink, the last to go out clubbing… sometimes it sucks being the last of the girls when there are only boy cousins in your age group. It is like they are some sort of group and I am somehow on the outside, that is of course till I hide behind my mother… they are all shit scared of her.

Take for example when we were getting my Uncle’s house right for his funeral the big muscular nephews were all hanging around like what old men outside in the yard and one shouting from my mother to ask are they whimps or something got them right back into the house to dismantle the dining room table.

Oh about all that last things, I was also last to the funeral parlor, last to the crematorium… this one was not my fault, I gave people a lift and they all saw, including the priest sitting next to be in the front seat, they all saw me going in the wrong direction, but everyone in the car kept quiet…. I was first to something, I was first to the beach, only because everyone was following me and then after we scattered the ashes, I was first to leave the parking lot and what do you know, my victory was short lived. All my cousins overtook my tiny little car with their big 4×4’s, Fortuners and even my other Uncle overtook me in his Yaris… how embarrassing. They were like, eat my dust and just went full speed ahead and left me all the way at the back ….sooo soo sad. Next funeral I am hiring a big high rise turbo car…if my mother will let me of course, she also never let me drive over 100km/h on the highway, no wonder I was overtaken.

Anyway seeing as we are like 2 seconds away from challenging everyone in the family to do this egg challenge, nope not going to happen. In our culture when you hit puberty we are forced to drink raw egg to release the heat in our bodies… I drank those egg yolks 20 years ago, no point in relieving my Rocky days, if you catch me….so I opted to be the first to try out the coffee drink that everyone is going craze over.

And also the fact that my nemesis posted a video of her boyfriend making it for her and I just saw red and I was like I am soo going to try this as soon as I get up.

Then I could not find the beater attachments for my beater and my back was killing me and I was tired and I had no energy to bend to the lowest cupboard in the kitchen and pull out my stand mixer but then I did because I made scones and I was not going to use my mother’s egg beater that is older than me and being held together with sticky tape.

Seeing as I already had the stand mixer out for the cream, I thought it is now or never to whip coffee and water till its light and fluffy and can hold stiff peaks.

The verdict, I loved it, my dad loved half of it and then he said it was too strong, my mother oh dear lord, she complained from the moment I set the cup down in front of her. She complained that I didn’t tell her the milk was hot, then she complained that the coffee was too strong, when I told her to mix it together and gave her a straw, she complained that the straw went soggy in the cup and then she complained that it just wasn’t the same as tea, if she had a sip then it was a lot.

But all I am worried about is that I want to be the first in my family to have tried this out. I doubt it, but if I post about it first, then technically everyone who posts about it after me, copied me.


  • Equal parts instant coffee, sugar and boiling water.
  • Warmed milk.


  • Whisk together the coffee, sugar and water till light and fluffy and doubled in volume.
  • In a glass, pour in the warmed milk.
  • Topped with the whipped coffee.
  • And for something extra a dusting of cocoa powder.

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