Monkey gland sauce


I have never tasted monkey gland sauce in my life.

Whenever I come across it as a sauce option, I just move right past.

Growing up I always thought monkey gland sauce had monkeys in them. Don’t laugh… I must have been in grade 3 or 4 when I discovered monkey gland sauce.

When I told my dad that I don’t want to eat a sauce that is made from monkeys, he never corrected me. He just let me carry that thought around with me for most of my life…. So much love I tell you.

Apparently I am not the only one he hasn’t corrected, some of his friends made the same mistake and they all landed up in the same boat as me.

That was until I came across a recipe for a burger sauce that just happened to be the dreaded monkey gland sauce. After reading through the list of ingredients, I am glad to report that no monkeys are in fact harmed during the making of this sauce.

I was game after discovering the ingredients to make this sauce and for the first time in my life try it out.

To tell you the truth, I am not even sure why the call in monkey gland sauce? Is it because it is red and lumpy or is it someone playing a cruel joke of innocent thinkers like myself???

Nevertheless the sauce was amazing, I dipped everything I could find in it, from chips, to toast and even cheese…. When all the edible dipping food was finished, I restored to using a spoon and eating it straight out of the bowl and then when the spoon couldn’t reach the corners, I resorted to licking the bowl clean… Geez I hope my mother is not reading this. She will have a fit and ask me where my lady manners have gone.

What can I say the sauce has turned me upside down and given a taste of monkey nastics… Although monkey nastics wasn’t around during my time. It only came around when I was in highschool… shows you just how old I am.


  • 2 x tbsp. olive oil.
  • 1 x onion, finely chopped.
  • 2 x cloves garlic, crushed.
  • 4 x tbsp. tomatoe paste.
  • 3 x tomatoes, finely chopped.
  • 1 x cup Mrs Balls original chutney.
  • 3 x tbsp. Worcester sauce.
  • 2 x tbsp. red wine vinegar.
  • 2 x tbsp. brown sugar.
  • 1 x tbsp. tabasco sauce.
  • Salt and pepper to taste


  • Heat the oil in a pan.
  • Add the onions and garlic and saute till the onions are transparent.
  • Add in the tomatoe paste and chopped tomatoes.
  • Stir to combine everything and bring the mixture to a boil.
  • Add the remaining ingredients and stir.
  • Over a low heat, cook the sauce for 30 – 45 minutes or until the mixture has reduced and the sauce has thickened.

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